The reality is that those missteps, unexpected losses, “accidents,” crises at work or in our relationships, are often a part of the plan. They often are part of our own very deliberate plan for this lifetime. And, I realize that you, like me, probably feel like you NEVER would have planned on some of the dips in the road you’ve experienced that feel like a total loss of control over the circumstances of your life.
Yet, I’m finally getting it and it’s becoming easier and easier to see how what seems like adversity is sometimes just what is needed (from a more aerial perspective) to help us to expand in the way we intended to expand in this life. Without the so-called adversity there would be no growth, no generation of new desires for improvement, no life.
My take-away from what seemed like a disaster to me used to be, “Why, why, why? I know how this works. My vibration wasn’t that crappy. Was it that crappy? I never would’ve intended this. What was I doing wrong? What was I vibrating that I didn’t realize?” Of course, nothing about this reaction is helpful in moving forward, although I hope it helps you to feel better to know that you are not the only one who sometimes reacts this way.
We feel like if we can gain some clarity about what we need to fix that caused this unfortunate event, we will prevent ourselves from experiencing something like this again. Yet, a focus on what we may have done wrong to deserve this “sh__storm” is leading us in the opposite direction from our desires. Blaming ourselves, wondering how we got it wrong, is not exactly creating a good vibration. And, if we realize that we may have actually intended some version of this stormy episode even before coming into this lifetime, it seems especially crazy to be beating ourselves up for an apparent mistake.
We can’t actually know from our physical perspective exactly why things went down the way that they did. We can’t possibly know the details about other things in our life that are connected in some invisible way to this random unfortunate event. Our Inner Being and the Universe, on the other hand, are very aware of all of those details that we don’t have easy access to from our physical reality. And, it’s become more and more clear that sometimes, actually often, those seeming obstacles are actually a path to changing our circumstances to the better circumstances that we’ve been wanting to create, perhaps for a long time.
The very best take away from one of those “this cannot be happening” situations, is to ask an essential question, always: “What good could come from this?” What possible relief might result from this forced encounter of the worst kind? I am constantly surprised at how in my own life and the circumstances of my clients, there is nearly always a silver lining of some kind, some benefit from the apparent disaster. And, it’s usually not obvious but a very real benefit, nonetheless.
Sometimes, the focus on dealing with the big “problem” causes us to let go of our firm grip on some other things in our life that we are blocking ourselves from receiving because of that firm grip. We give up, let go of everything else, as we focus on this big problem, and the other things take care of themselves. We are no longer resisting them. We’re letting the Universe deliver the goods to us.
Sometimes, the “disaster” causes us to have greater clarity about other things in our life, clarity that had eluded us until we were forced to hit pause to deal with the adversity. A health crisis can demonstrate that we need to start taking care of ourselves, not just others. A relationship blow up can show us that the relationship was really not in our best interests; we just couldn’t see it clearly until things actually blew up.
So, I hope this helps you to let yourself off the hook, as it has done for me, when something happens which makes you feel like you are less than a great deliberate creator. You may actually be creating something that is going to create huge dividends as you bounce back from it with less resistance and more clarity. By looking for the gem in “adversity,” you immediately begin the task of improving your circumstances. You are not only not blaming yourself but you are also appreciating the fact that good things are in store for you. And, that’s just where you want to be.