Take a few minutes to think about an area or areas of your life that make you feel happy. Now, consider an aspect or aspects of your life that you’re not so happy with at this moment. Typically, if we have a few areas of our life that are not meeting our expectations, our overall vibe is UNHAPPY. It would be a good idea to write these observations down. This is important if you want to move out of that “UNHAPPY” zone.
For each of those areas of your life, ask yourself why you are happy or unhappy with where you are now. I’d also write these conclusions down because your answers are likely to cause an ah-ha moment that will lead you out of that UNHAPPY zone.
I’ve mentioned before that our momentum toward the things we want is often based upon the story we are telling ourselves about our circumstances. Nearly all of us have at least a version of our story that has some sadness, some blame, some justifications, some regrets or even guilt or shame. Something went wrong, something did or did not happen and, if not for that, we’d have the circumstances we’d like to have. There can be a feeling that life deprived us of something. It may have been long ago but, if not for that, we’d have a lot more of what we want now.
This story is beyond important. It’s creating our current reality. It’s as if we had a plan for our lives, the way things should have gone and where we should be right now. And, if our life doesn’t fit that plan that we hatched probably very long ago, we can feel like life is not worthwhile. This is particularly true if we feel that we have no power to change the current circumstances that don’t match where we thought we’d be now.
Nearly every coaching client I begin to work with has expressed their vision of where they want to be, which often involves some version of where they think they should be at this age, at this juncture, at this stage of their career or life. They feel that by now they should have the relationship, the fame, or the exciting work, or a certain financial status. And, they don’t. This comparison of where you are to where you think you should be can even lead to a dark night of the soul. And, it has for many. Depression is that feeling of “I don’t have what I want and I’m powerless to do anything about it.”
Being in line with where you think you should be now is often what makes life feel worthwhile.
There are a few options here, of course. We can blame others, blame ourselves, blame the Universe, all of which lead to remaining right where we are while we continue to digest the anger, resentment and regret. Our bodies often respond with pain or symptoms as we continue to harbor that toxicity.
A better option is to figure out what we are going to do now to change our lives. Who said we are powerless to change things? That would be ridiculous in a Universe that gives us the creative power to vibrate in line with our desires and have anything that we want. Another much better option is to revise that blueprint or life plan that we came up with when we were younger and didn’t know what we know now. Does that schedule, that plan, really make sense now? Is it really so important that each of those milestones has been met at this moment? Or, is it possible to feel like it’s fine to be right where we are? Could this moment actually be okay? It’s a temporary jumping off point. It’s not our destiny.
For nearly everyone, things have gone differently than planned. And, it’s been part of our expansion and growth. It’s often what makes life interesting. Some of us thought we’d be married, wealthier, happily in a relationship, in a corner office, well known in our line of work, or living in a dream home by now. The really important piece of this is that if we are thinking that we should’ve done more or better, that we are not where we are supposed to be, we can’t move forward. We’re sending out a vibration of “something has gone wrong here,” or failure. And, a slight change of perspective can change that and begin to create momentum toward actually having what we really want.
So, the person who hasn’t found the magical relationship can be feeling like all is lost or that the Universe is matching them up with the perfect relationship and it’s on its way. They can also appreciate the close relationships they do have with friends and family. When they feel that way, the perfect relationship is on its way.
The person who feels they should be farther along in their career can feel like they will never make it or notice how far they’ve actually come. When they focus on that progress they will find themselves moving forward instead of remaining stuck.
The person who thought they’d be living in their dream home can notice the things about their current home that they do love. The change from regret to appreciation creates the momentum that leads to the manifestation of the dream home.
The person who is divorced, yet who thought they’d be married at this stage in life, can remind themselves that they weren’t happily married or they wouldn’t be divorced. They can then focus on their freedom and the other relationships they do have in their life. If it’s still important to be married they can focus on creating the best version of themselves that will line them up with someone who is their vibrational match. Being with someone who is in alignment equals happy.
So, we need to reflect on what we feel we are not happy about and decide that the old blueprint is just an old blueprint. We can decide that we can be happy in this moment, right now, with the other things that we can appreciate. We can reset our ledger of where we thought we’d be now. We can set some new goals and let go of some that no longer fit who we are. And, then we can take those actions that are inspired by our new higher vibration. Those inspired actions will lead to fulfilling those desires that make life exciting, that make us happy.
From UNHAPPY to HAPPY. It’s just a mind-shift. It’s always an inside job. Always.
If you’d like some help in figuring out how to reset your life plan or to make the changes in your life you’d like to make, let me know. I’m happy to help. I love seeing people get just what they want. By the way, a great book full of inspiring LOA success stories, Your Daily Dose of Happy, is available now on Amazon. Contributing to it made me feel happy!