I’m going to give you Seven Steps to get out of that loop of negative thinking. And, you don’t have to do them all. These are tools that work for me and for my clients. But first, if you haven’t seen this clip from the “Steve Harvey Show,” where Steve has a short conversation with Jerry Seinfeld, you need to see this. I laughed until I cried. You need to watch this first because I’m going to be commenting on the funniest part, which comes at the end. It is short and will instantly lift your vibe. I guarantee it. No, it’s not a money back guarantee; this is a free blog post. Who was thinking that?
If you’ve watched the clip, you know, if you didn’t before, that there are occasions when apparently “Black people say f___ all yall,” because it’s easier than naming everyone in the room. And, as Steve Harvey points out, if a Black person says “F____ all yall,” you need to get out of the room. It’s not that White people don’t have that same thought, not moi, well maybe I have had that thought. I think we White folks are more prone to name all of the names when we have those moments. But, it’s the same basic thought; it’s race neutral. We’ve just had it with everything and everyone. Someone has ticked us off. We’ve let it run around in our head for way too long, and now that powerful Law of Attraction has attracted similar thoughts to match those cruddy thoughts and we are now thinking the same thing about more people who wronged us at one time or another.
The LOA is so amazing. It has infinite resources and can line you up with more negative thoughts about people you weren’t even thinking about. They probably haven’t even done anything that deserves your wrath in the recent past. The thoughts just keep coming, until you decide to call a halt to it.
Now this can happen when someone has done something that you feel was lousy, undeserved, maybe even unforgiveable. This is one of the biggest magnets for more negative thoughts. But, it can also “happen to you” (yeah, let’s blame the Universe) when no one else is involved at all, and you start thinking negative thoughts about your work, your bank account, the condition of your home, your health, your weight, your appearance, your loneliness, your cable company, virtually anything can begin the negative loop.
Whether it involves other people and you feel like saying, “F____ all yall,” (okay I did feel that way very recently, not just a maybe) or it’s the story you are spinning about your current circumstances, the only path toward feeling better and toward creating the circumstances you really want, is to end the loop and to move to thoughts that feel better, much better.
So, my best tools for improving your mood and putting those negative thoughts into a hot air balloon, which sails off into the sunset leaving you free to enjoy and create the life you really want:
- You might notice that I said leaving you free to enjoy and create. Do you realize that when you are caught in a loop of negative thinking, like way down there on the emotional scale, you are not free? It feels like your thoughts are thinking you and that they are in charge. Decide to take charge. Just making that first decision feels better. It feels more like control, power, and not victimhood and desperation. Deciding to take charge is the single, most powerful, proactive thought you can have to get out of that negative loop.
- This second tool isn’t my top choice but it can be very effective when you are caught in a serious negative loop that you can’t seem to shut down. You do realize, don’t you, that thinking those negative thoughts is only attracting not only similarly vibrating negative thoughts, but circumstances to match. I say this not to suggest you should panic, blame yourself, try to suck your negative thoughts back in as if they didn’t occur. I am suggesting that you realize in that moment that by indulging yourself in that loop of negative self-talk you could end up attracting a situation that is a perfect match to that super negative loop of thought. I find it a powerful motivator at times. It can lead to suggestion number three.
- You’re already mad or upset, so it’s pretty easy to stay angry and upset because the new thoughts you are attracting are a match to those thoughts. So, an easy segue is to think I’m not letting that jerk, that situation, take up space in my head anymore and affect what I’m creating in my life. I’d have to be crazy to do that. This isn’t where you want to stay, but it’s an easy place to get and also pretty motivating.
- Remember that your primary goal in life is to be happy. The only reason you have your desires, your wants, in the first place, is that you think that having those things will make you happy. This loop of negative thinking does not equate with happy. It feels miserable. Why would you want to allow yourself to continue to feel miserable? It makes no sense does it? This may not immediately end the loop but it is beginning to slow down, break apart, as you think about the fact that you want to be happy and that frankly, this loop of negative thinking is just kind of ridiculous. It is ridiculously far from happy.
- As being happy is your primary goal, think of what does make you happy? Try to replace at least some of those negative thoughts with thoughts of things that bring you joy. There are plenty of those. It could be good to make a list right in the midst of the negative loop, of things you appreciate, the things you enjoy doing. And, if you are able to get to the point of making this list, your vibe has naturally lifted quite a bit and you may be able to take some inspired action to actually do one of those things that you enjoy.
- Even with all of this dismissal of the negative thoughts as not who you choose be, and not a match to your desired vibe, you might have one particular pesky thought that is at the starting point of that negative loop and you may still find it hard to let go of that one after it’s gotten so much airtime. My two favorite methods for working that thought out of your head and letting it go are what Abraham calls “The Focus Wheel,” and the Second Daily Tool from my book “How to Allow.” The focus wheel process can be found in the Abraham Hicks book, “Ask and It is Given.” Both processes involve sitting down and writing your way from where you are currently in your thinking to a place of feeling at peace. You need to use these tools because they work, period. And, once you’ve gotten to that place of peace, the Law of Attraction will assist you in finding more and more thoughts that match your feelings of peace. By the way, from the moment in Step 1 of this post, when you decided to take charge of your thoughts, the Universe has been supporting you in taking charge. So you’re not alone. You already have enlisted the force of the entire Universe in helping you to move to a place that feels much, much better.
- Last, but I would never say least, as it’s often the best thing we can do if all of the above have not taken you to a better place, is to distract yourself from the negative thoughts/situation. Do something, anything, that takes your mind off of the supposed issue. Take a nap. Meditate. Watch a movie. Exercise. If you have a hobby or hobbies, this is one of the best times to engage. Often doing something creative, like writing a blog post, is the best antidote to pesky negative thoughts. I’m highly in favor of creative outlets. I’m lucky that my work is also a fun, creative outlet.
So, as I wrote this, I went through all of those steps, which worked for me just now. I was in that loop and I never want to be in a strong negative loop ever, but especially when I’m doing my creative, hopefully uplifting, work. Yet, I had the feeling that taking readers through this process would also take me through this process and it was hugely successful. I’m not locked on DEFCON 3 anymore. No more scorched earth fantasies. I’m in charge of my mood and thinking about those ridiculous things is so not me, such a waste of the energy I have to create just what I want in my life.
Having contrast in our lives is not a bad thing; it’s what pulls the energy of the Universe through us and causes us to dream a better dream and to Allow it to happen. I’m just all in for having a smoother ride and for having the tools in our repertoire to move out of the feeling of contrast as easily as possible. And, it feels so much better.
Let me know if you’d like some help with getting into alignment. It’s my passion. Feel free to contact me via email at [email protected] for more information on Coaching.