It is sometimes tempting to read a news blurb about a celebrity or even a post on Facebook and think, “Why them and not me?”   It’s a pretty natural response and one we should not feel guilty about.  If I ever begin to feel guilty about something, if I feel I’ve fallen short somehow, I remind myself of the perfect statement I came across regarding guilt: “If you feel guilty, you should be ashamed of yourself.” That never fails to make me laugh and to see the absurdity of feeling guilty when we know we were doing the best we could at the time or we would have done better, period. Guilt is really one of the more pointless, yet uncomfortable, emotions and it is good to remind ourselves that guilt serves absolutely no useful purpose. It only serves to keep us in an emotional state that is not in alignment with Who We Really Are and does not allow us to focus forward to improving whatever brought on those feelings of guilt.   Mugshot Dog

But, we’re not really focusing on guilt here. Just want to remind myself and all of us that envy can happen when we see the beautiful photos of others, their families, their wealth, their relationships, their presumed happiness, on Facebook or other social media. And, of course, the possibilities of feeling envious of the success of some celebrities are endless. Yet, so are the possibilities for thinking, “Thank God I’m not in their shoes.” There’s certainly plenty of that in the media every day as well.

We tend to post our triumphs, photos that reflect the best we’ve got. It’s easy for us to imagine that other people, lots of other people, have perfect lives or lives that are better than ours. In fact, I am so sensitive to this, that in one case where I posted two photos of me with each of my sons in front of a beautiful garden, feeling very lucky and appreciated, that I commented, “By the way, I do not have a perfect life. That is not my garden in the background.”

Happy couple on beach in love having fun holding around each oth

I have been super proud of myself when I can read about someone else’s triumph or hear their great news and feel nothing but happiness. And, that is nearly always the case. Of course, I want the best for others and really do feel genuine happiness for the good that they are allowing into their lives. When the rare occasion comes that I feel a bit of relief when I read about some celebrity misfortune, or when I hear some negative gossip about someone with a so-called perfect life, I realize that it’s me who needs to do an attitude adjustment.

Over quite a few years I’ve come to rarely envy other people. That has been an evolution, an expansion of Who I Am. I certainly didn’t always feel that way. And, I can still slip into that feeling occasionally.  When I do feel that twinge of, “Why is it so much easier for them?” or “Well, their life isn’t so perfect after all,” it can only mean that I’m doubting my own ability (in that moment) to create whatever it is that I want. There is no reason to feel envious of anyone else otherwise. In fact, the more pleasure we can feel about others’ successes, the more we are on our path to creating exactly what we want in our lives. Ideally, we would all be surrounded by other people who are creating many of the same things that we aspire to, as that’s a fast track to that positive energy that moves worlds.

casual group of happy people isolated over white

So, there’s no good reason to feel envious ever, at least for longer than a minute. And, there’s no reason to feel guilty if you occasionally dip into that feeling of envy. Realizing that you are feeling envious can be viewed as a welcome sign that you are aware of your emotional guidance, that you’re sensitive to how you’re feeling. And, it’s a very short trip to reminding yourself that you already know that you can have anything you want. If that person did it, it’s just more evidence that you can do it. Even the fact that you’re noticing that they did it can be evidence that you are getting closer to creating that fortune, relationship, serenity, fabulous work, your heart’s desire. There’s no downside here. You can move from envy to patting yourself on the back in less than the 68 seconds that it can take for your thoughts to start creating some real momentum. And, that’s a very good thing!

 

Please contact me at [email protected] to learn more about Life Coaching or for a free coaching session.  I would love to have the opportunity to work with you.  Also, be sure to check out my book, “How to Allow,” which many people have found life changing, currently available at CreateSpace in Paperback and on Amazon for Kindle.  Audio version is also available at www.howtoallow.net.

6 thoughts on “The Truth About Envy (And It’s Not So Bad)

  1. Thanks, Susan! I love the Buddhist antidote to envy: “May your success and good fortune continue and increase. May your happiness never end.” Envy is so human and saying this has helped me numerous times.

    1. Thanks. I love the quotation. Will definitely commit that to memory!

  2. Now I feel ashamed of both my guilt and envy, lol just kidding. Good message as usual, Susan.

  3. I am very rarely ever envious of other people. However.. I often have to stop and wonder… If I wasn’t me.. would I too be envious of me??? haha no really.

    1. Chrissy, suddenly I’m finding myself envious of you.

Leave a Comment