Feeling empowered is not about fine-tuning your life so that you never experience anything that is frustrating, annoying, or even sad.  The way things are set up in this life experience allows us to feel thirsty and then quench our thirst.  We can feel tired and then allow ourselves to get the rest we need.  In some sense, it’s as if we can’t appreciate things fully unless we’ve experienced something that is less than what we want.  I know what you’re thinking but bear with me.

Nearly all of the things that feel good to us are providing some relief or improvement from where we were just before we felt that sense of relief.  The experience of contrast, as in something that contrasts with exactly what we want, does not need to be viewed as something to be avoided at all costs.

Contrast is allowing us to then experience what we really want, the new and improved version.  Can you imagine how it would feel to have a different perception of contrast?  What if the idea of contrast didn’t carry with it the idea of being overwhelmed and lacking control over our reality?  What if we viewed it a bit more neutrally?

If we can deal with the experiences that are different from what we want with the knowledge that they are giving us the opportunity to then experience what we really want, we can move through them more quickly.  With that perspective, our contrasting experiences are on their way out.  When we wallow in the feeling of the injustice of having to experience something that is difficult, we delay the improvement.

That’s not to say that the experience of what we don’t want and sometimes experiencing frustration or anger hasn’t still been valuable.  It has definitely increased our desire and appreciation for something new and better.  So, in that sense, it can still be leading to our expansion.  It’s more dramatic and perhaps takes longer but we are still putting the things we really want into our vibrational escrow.

I admit to it taking quite a while for me to be able to see that value in the experiences that I really don’t want.  When I first learned about the Law of Attraction and the way we create our desires, I would try to ignore the negative situation or immediately switch my focus in a more positive direction. And, I haven’t given up on moving my focus to a more positive perspective.  Yet, now I know for sure that there is huge value in actually processing that negative emotion that arises when something is disappointing or unwanted.

Even the word “processing,” as in purposely processing that negative emotion can still be cringeworthy at times.  But, now I know that allowing my true emotions to surface and fully feeling them is the path to new and better experiences.  Being able to feel that negative emotion and then move to a place where I feel at peace with it before anything has changed is putting me on the fast track to the magic.

I definitely am not perfect when it comes to this approach.  I still feel like blowing the roof off of my house once in a while.  But, I’m getting better at accepting the value of that negative event and emotion.  One thing that might be helpful in beginning to change your perspective about contrast, is to reflect on some of the experiences you’ve had in your life that did not feel great.  With a little distance from the negative experience, we can usually see something good that came from it.  We can see growth.  For me, becoming aware of that silver lining that is nearly always there was a tipping point. I could see it from a distance.  And, once we can see the value of the contrast from a distance, we can begin to try to feel less resistant to the contrast in the present moment.


When we are in the middle of something that feels like contrast, that’s exactly when we have the opportunity to hit pause rather than going into full rant mode.  But, even if we go into that rant, we can still look at why we are feeling the way we are and then let it go on its way.  Sometimes the full-on rant feels like the only possible response and that can be our path to eventually letting that feeling go.

The very cool thing about this approach is that every time we handle things with the perspective that new and better is on its way, the new and better is definitely on its way.  And, it’s coming much more quickly as a result.


This is how we can learn to feel empowered.  We’ve shown ourselves that we can take what shows up, feel it, and then move on with a feeling of peace.  When we really get this and apply it in our lives, we can feel that nothing is really stronger than us.  That is what empowerment feels like.








If you’d like some one-on-one support with creating your magical life, you can reach me at susan@howtoallow.net

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