This manifesting pitfall, which can slow down or even block our manifestations, actually has a plus side. Recognizing this vibrational snag before it gets too much traction can set things in motion quickly.  Floodgates can open.


This vibrational “trying too hard” hurdle shares some similarities with the Perfect Storm situation I’ve described before, where we feel like we’ve been trying our hardest, doing everything we can, and we find ourselves in the middle of a conspiracy of unfortunate events. How could all of this happen at once?  This storm of perfectly awful proportions is often important evidence of a pattern that needs to change. We’ve repeated it over and over in our lives, often unconsciously, and finally things blow up. We are ready to move on.  Our soul is done with this lesson. We are done with this lesson. The peanut gallery is even tired of seeing this repeat performance.  The Perfect Storm can allow us to notice the often hidden thread of false beliefs, negative thoughts, and repetitive actions that are out of alignment with what we want.  This coming together of a series of unfortunate events can be the catalyst for realizing, finally, how we need to change that pattern. It’s essential to our growth and happiness and to ending the loop that we have continued to repeat for perhaps a very long time.


There is also a similarly helpful red alert that can occur when we find ourselves blindsided by a more isolated unforeseen event that stops us in our tracks.  It may not be the Perfect Storm-like intersection of the worst possible circumstances. Instead, we could find ourselves sidelined by an illness, an injury, a major work problem, a breakup, a family upheaval, the loss of an important friendship.  The list could go on, but the notion here is that sometimes these more isolated random events can also be a Perfect Storm-like defining moment, forcing us to take stock of how we are really vibrating.


For the sake of a little good drama, let’s call these incidents “Incapacitating Events.”  Perhaps we’re not physically incapacitated but we might as well be. Whether the event is emotionally incapacitating or physically incapacitating, we are taken out of the game, briefly.  Everything else becomes unimportant because we can’t do anything about anything. We need to ride out or take care of the Incapacitating Event.  


My keen observation (ahem) after experiencing a few of these Incapacitating Events is that they generally occur when we are trying way too hard to create what we want.  We’re not taking a light touch. We’re thinking, and plotting and using multiple manifesting tools. We’re in the zone of “I’m making it happen.”


Of course, we know better than this.  It’s even a premise of my book, How to Allow. Yet, despite knowing that having the feeling that we aren’t doing it right and need to do more is not a vibrational match to our desires, we still find ourselves trying too hard sometimes.  We’ve had a lot of very good training that we need to focus, work hard, and never give up. And, sometimes that works. But when the focus and work slip into struggle and pushing against what is not working, that can be exactly what is not allowing our desires to manifest for us.  We can be blocking our desires with all of our struggle.


There are a few reasons that this “trying too hard” approach is not a vibrational match to creating our important desires.


When we are trying very hard to make something happen we are often overwhelmed.  The emotion of overwhelm is on the lower end of the vibrational scale, nowhere near the vibe of our desire.


When we are using multiple Law of Attraction-based manifesting tools at the same time it often reflects an underlying belief that this thing we are trying to manifest is “hard” or “a very big deal,” that it requires a full-court press.  Our belief that our desire is a tricky one, and difficult to achieve, is generating a vibration that is also out of the range of our desire.  When we decide it is hard, it is hard.


When we are grinding it out, we are generally feeling that we are not doing it right or doing enough.  If we felt confident that our desire was on its way to us and that we were in alignment with our desire a fair amount of the time, we wouldn’t be pushing so hard.  Again, our belief is undermining our vibration.


When we are furiously engaging multiple tools for aligning our vibration and taking lots of frantic actions in pursuit of our desire, we might also be stepping on the toes of the Universe.  The Universe knows lots more about our desire than we do. It knows the shortest route to our desire.  When we aren’t in the way trying to micromanage the process,  the Universe moves things on our behalf and moves things quickly.


Fortunately, there are at least two benefits of finding ourselves sidelined by an Incapacitating Event that has occurred because of or in spite of all of our hard work.


These Incapacitating Events often derail us to the extent that we cannot continue to focus upon those things in our lives that we’ve been obsessing over and struggling to make happen.  All of the time that we had been spending trying to whip our desires into shape was filled with lots of RESISTANCE.  The Incapacitating Event distracts us from that RESISTANCE; and

All of our efforting has created an ENORMOUS ENERGETIC VOID where the lack of our desire is languishing.  What we really want has already been created and is being held for us by the Universe. Our desire now has an opportunity to slip into that void we’ve done such a great job of creating. There is a beautiful sort of magic that occurs when we let go of our resistance around the thing we’ve been working so hard to achieve.


I’ve seen it happen time and time again in my life and the lives of my coaching clients.  I can even say that I can almost appreciate one of those Incapacitating Events (slightly) when I realize that it is causing me to wake up and let go of my unintended focus upon the lack of what I want.

Removing our focus, even briefly, on the things that we’ve been pushing too hard for, often causes those things to fall into place with such ease that it can feel miraculous.

If, and when, you find yourself in this forced time-out moment, use it as a red alert that you need to back it down and let the overwhelmingly positive energy of the Universe work its magic without the hindrance of your resistance.  Take a break.  Focus upon what is working and on helping yourself out of your forced hiatus.  Then, begin right away to make an effort to notice what is different as each hour or day goes by after you’ve let go of the “trying too hard.”  There will be evidence and it will arrive quickly.  It may be unrelated to the desire that had you tied up in knots but it will be proof positive of a change in your vibration.  It’s up to you to notice it, appreciate it, and then watch the desire that had you trying too hard slip into your life through that door that is now wide open.


If you’d like some help with getting your vibration into that place that is a match to your desires you can find me at You can also reach me at






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