It seems that nearly every person who has contacted me in the last month regarding a problem in their lives that they want to “tweak” by becoming a more deliberate creator, has a problem relationship at the core of other things that aren’t going so well for them.  In each case, these are romantic relationships (or had been romantic relationships), although the principles that apply to these also apply to any relationship, whether it be with a family member, co-worker, friend or anyone who occupies a large space in your life.

In my interview last week on the Law of Attraction Radio Network with Constance Arnold,, she asked me to speak about attracting love and money into your life and I responded that the principles, the laws of the Universe, apply in the same way to every circumstance of our life, even love and money.  It just seems that love and money are so important, and they are, that we often end up in the most seemingly complicated out-of-whack vibration when it comes to those issues.

I’m going to limit our discussion today to relationships, as I’ve been paying a fair amount of attention to relationship issues based on the questions I’ve received recently.  Fortunately, I feel like new ground has been broken, at least for me, when it comes to dealing with relationship issues.  All of this discussion of our vortex (which is holding our relationship in it’s ideal form waiting for us to get up to speed with it), and our grid, which is our vibrational stance and demonstrates our current manifestations, has given me some new perspectives on the relationship question.

One issue I’d like to dispose of immediately is one that I was happy to learn of quite some time ago, that is, that there can be solutions to relationship problems when it seems that each person in the relationship wants something different from the other.  In this case, I’m not referring to a serious issue or any pattern of abuse, but rather just two people who want a different experience on an issue that seems important to them.  For example, one partner wants a vacation home at the beach and the other just can’t imagine not  having a vacation home in the mountains.  It would seem that there would be no common ground there.  Yet, the essence of what each partner wants is a happy, relaxing place to get away to with their partner.  If even one of them can manage to focus on the vacation house in a more general way, that is, leaving out the location, and line up their vibration with a happy vacation home, the Universe can work out the details in a way that both partners can be happy.  The Universe knows all of the details about both partners’ desires and histories better than either of them know themselves, and can come up with an ingenious solution that makes everyone happy.  Just knowing this can avoid any feelings of being trapped in our relationship by our partner’s unique preferences on some issues.  That is huge when you think about it and can go a long way toward taking the heat out of seemingly unresolvable issues.

When it comes to relationships, there are so many varieties of issues that can arise, but it usually comes down to you getting knocked out of your vortex because of something that the other person is saying or doing.  At least that’s how we usually justify our getting knocked out of our good vibration.  If they hadn’t done what they’ve done, all would be well and we’d still be thinking our best thoughts and maintaining a pretty good vibration.  Well, it is true.  If they hadn’t done that obnoxious thing or brought us all of their “issues,” we’d still be in a pretty good place vibrationally.  Except, they can’t create in our reality.  They can’t assert anything into our experience.  That’s why it’s called the Law of “Attraction.”  It’s all up to us.  If we hadn’t had some part of our vibration that was at least a match to some of their rotten behavior, they wouldn’t be showing it to us.  They’d be showing it to someone else.  They just wouldn’t be a match to us in that area.

Please understand though that I have complete sympathy for this situation.  After all, most of us have been trained into having this vibration toward this other person by the behavior they’ve exhibited, sometimes over a very long period of time.  Of course, there’s going to be a bit of negative expectation in our vibration when it comes to this relationship.  It’s not exactly our fault.  But, we’re the only ones who can change the pattern and keep ourselves from getting knocked out of our vortex, where all of our desires are just ready to pop, waiting for our positive vibration.

Do we really want to let someone else’s behavior deprive us of our fondest desires?  Or do we want to exist with an unsatisfying relationship when it could be much better by virtue of our changing our own vibration?

So, here’s the bottom line and it’s the first time I’ve heard it this way and felt the power of this perspective.  We’ve heard that when we’re in alignment, that is, at a high vibration, in a state of positive emotion, aligned with our Source and the energy that creates worlds, we’re more powerful than a million people who are not.  When we’re in that state of alignment and that kind of power and inspiration is pouring forth from us, “the probability of this person coming into alignment with us is much greater if we’ve practiced the vibration before, that is, if we’ve decided that we’re going to create our own reality in advance and not in the middle of a moment when we’ve already been knocked out of our vortex.”AH  Because we are so powerfully aligned, we dominate the vibration with the other person.  And, this is not manipulative in any way but can only operate to bring out the best of the other person because they are rising to our higher vibration.  It actually benefits both parties.

Although I’ve been aware of our power when we’re in alignment and our powerful influence for the benefit of others when we’re in that state of pure positive vibration, I’ve sometimes found a problem with the approach of visualizing our way into an improved relationship when things aren’t going very well with that relationship.  For most people, it’s next to impossible to visualize the ideal relationship we’d prefer over the problem relationship without emitting a mixed vibration where we’re really still thinking of all of the problems that person has brought into our lives.

But, now that I’ve become  more aware of the power of going “general” in my thoughts and ignoring the problem issue, or the problem person or circumstance, I can see how I can more consciously establish a vibrational pattern that’s going to allow my desires to flow in and even improve the problem relationship.  I know now that I have the ability to stay in alignment no matter what “they” are doing.  I just need to establish my grid, my emotional stance, before I walk into the situation.  I’ll get into my vortex by going general in my thoughts and get only as specific as I can in my imagination and still feel good.  In other words, I’ll find things to appreciate that may have nothing to do with the relationship and get into my good feeling place.  And, if I can think of some aspects of the relationship without clouding my positive vibration, I’ll do that too.  Going general and feeling good is great, but being even more specific about the relationship and feeling good is even better.

So, if you have a relative with health problems who you want to help but they consistently bring you down and out of your good flow, do your “grid work” in advance, before you interact with them.  Think about other things that make you happy and let that be the object of your focus.  If you can think of some nice things about them without bringing down your vibration, that’s even better.  Or, if you have a romantic relationship that isn’t meeting your desires, do some “grid work” in advance by focusing on other things that are less important but that put you in a great mood.  If you can focus on specifics about your relationship that do make you really happy when you think of them, even better.  And, chances are that your next interaction with your partner will be vastly improved.  If a relative consistently drives you over the edge at every family gathering, spend some time before the gathering thinking about things that send you happily into your vortex.  The next time, the annoying relative may not even interact with you when you’re so far apart vibrationally.

So, how worth it is it to find any reason at all to feel good?  I’d say it’s the only way to go and so worthwhile.  And, this often will mean letting go of focusing on the specifics that have been depriving you of your full connection to your power and all of the good things that have already been created for you.





Whenever you can, find a moment to take a look around you and find something to appreciate.  Or, you could meditate or do something that makes you feel good.  I have a good feeling that taking those few moments every day will be life changing for lots of people.  And, so worth it.





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