I was having that unwelcome feeling that something I had done might be causing some other people to be not so happy with me. I hate that feeling! And, I know I need to just get over it sometimes. You can’t please everyone. But here I was. Although I knew I had done nothing that should cause that reaction, I started going down that slippery slope to where I imagined my actions rippling out to more than a few people and having an effect on my relationships. And, this was happening even though I knew I was completely justified and had done nothing but exercise good judgment; I was taking care of myself. And, I know, without a doubt, that taking care of ourselves is one of the most important things we can do to raise our vibration and receive the incredible support of the Universe. When we support ourselves the Universe hears, “I am worthy. I deserve good things. I know everyone is helping me.”
Yet, I found myself entertaining that loop of “That’s too bad. I think that my doing what I know is best for me is rubbing them the wrong way and that I have to probably expect that. Sad, and wish that wasn’t the case.” And, then in that wonderful way that the Law of Attraction always goes to work, similar thoughts started to come in to support that crappy view of the situation. “Ugh, if they are feeling that way, then it probably means that so are all of these other people and oh yeah, them too. This really isn’t fair but I’m sure that’s why I haven’t heard from them. If they were okay with me I’d have heard from them. It’s been a whole day and I know they must be disappointed, not support me.”
And, then it happened! Thank you Universe, Law of Attraction, me. Because I’ve become better at recognizing this kind of negative emotion before it picks up too much steam, and because I actually know better than this, my next thoughts were, “What the ____? Who says this is what’s going on? Do you actually know that? Do you know that’s true? Can you really be sure of that? Couldn’t there be ten other reasons why you haven’t heard from them that have nothing to do with anything? Hasn’t the Universe shown you that when you take care of yourself, others respond in kind?” It only took about a minute and I felt such incredible relief.
The result—the moment I got into my house I heard a beep from my phone. It was from the person that I was certain wasn’t responding to me because they weren’t happy with me. It was a lovely message. It was supportive and was signed with “Love.” My prior story was just wrong, completely wrong. Yet, while I was continuing that story for about 16 hours, I continued to receive that silence, that confirmation that I was going to have to accept that they were unhappy with something I’d done and that our relationship was damaged. The minute I said, “Hold it, who says so? Couldn’t there be ten other reasons why you haven’t heard from them?,” the situation shifted.
It took the Universe about a minute to reverse that situation. And, that countered 16 hours of uncertainty and feelings of lack. The phone literally beeped with a supportive message the moment I walked into the house.
I love this story of how quickly the Law of Attraction works to shift your circumstances. It doesn’t take 16 hours of visualizing a better outcome to counter 16 hours of negative focus. It takes about 68 seconds or less.
I also love this story of how I got stopped in the midst of my negative loop of thinking, because it illustrates one more really cool notion, which I think we can benefit from in our relationships with others. This issue has been coming up with clients lately and has been an excuse to go down the rabbit’s hole, accompanied by guilt, sadness, and blame. And, in most cases, it’s just not accurate or supported by our realities.
What we all tend to do from time to time is to assume that everyone else is paying a lot more attention to us than they actually are. When we do something that we think others might not approve of, view as less than what we should have done, might be unpopular with others for their own reasons, or below our usual standards for ourselves, we assume that the whole world is watching and judging. But, they’re not. Everyone is more focused upon themselves and their own dramas than they are on any little things we’re doing. Yep, they might notice what we’re doing, even react to it a way that suggests that they’re judging us, and then, in most cases, they move on.
But our perception of the event, that is, that they noticed it and probably didn’t like it, causes us not to move on. We continue to magnify the importance of the issue, feel judged, possibly guilty, maybe beating up on ourselves. More often than not, nobody else is even paying attention for more than a moment. And, we’re lowering our vibration based on the mistaken belief that we are the center of everyone else’s focus, that we need to be close to perfect or everyone else is going to love us less, judge us, lose their respect for us, write us off.
If this seems like a belief you might have, and you want to challenge it, watch your own reactions to things others are doing for awhile. Sit down and think about what impact it had on you at the time and whether you even gave it lots of airtime. You probably didn’t. We tend to think that work colleagues, friends, neighbors, and even family members are constantly evaluating us when, in reality, they’re more likely to be evaluating themselves. And, the faster that we can let go of that false belief that we’re being judged, are under constant scrutiny, the more likely we are to have fewer situations where we feel we’re being judged, evaluated or criticized.
So, there are multiple applications for the thump on the head I had this week, and I hope you can benefit from my mistake. Oh geez, are you thinking I’m not a perfect coach, that I made a mistake, that I wasn’t sensitive to the needs of others when I took care of myself? Ha Ha, nope, I’m not going down that path.
We are all in this together and taking care of ourselves is the first thing we need to do in creating the lives we want. And, good self care often means listening to our inner voice that is saying, “You are worthy. You deserve good things. You are always doing your best, by definition. And, everyone is not out to get you but helping you on your journey.” If you find yourself in a negative loop where you’re tempted to assume the worst about a situation, about someone’s intentions, ask yourself “Who says so? Do I know for a fact that this is true? Are there ten other likely explanations for their reaction? Aren’t they more likely to be focused upon their own situations than what I’m doing?” That ought to take no more than a minute or so and can completely change your situation for the better. Isn’t it great how the Law of Attraction is always helping us?