I had noticed clearly that things which seemed like they were going to be a huge hassle on the surface, were not necessarily a hassle at all. It was almost as if problems were being fixed before I had a chance to have my way with them. Our family has always joked about being a non-hassle family, which definitely arose from my easy-going son, Duncan, doing anything to avoid a hassle during his teen years. Actually, he still does that and I applaud him for it. In earlier years, I was constantly dealing with hassles, yet he was managing to avoid them pretty well. Now I know it has a lot to do with his focus and expectations. After hearing a few times recently, “Mom, that’s not something you should get upset about,” I thought, okay he’s right. That isn’t even an issue. Why am I looking at it that way? It’s great when your kids can point you in the right direction occasionally.
I’ve learned a whole lot in recent years about being the master of my own circumstances (not always succeeding, but getting better and better). And yes, things still appear in my life that look like they are going to be a hassle in the strongest meaning of that word. There’s the snarky e-mail I mentioned from my auto insurance company, the e-mail from the online pet supply company that told me they couldn’t fill my pet’s prescription without picking up a copy from my vet (after I’d already had my pet examined and paid handsomely for it). Now that had the potential to be really annoying. There was the scary notice from the Motor Vehicle Administration, the mistaken report from the kennel that my dogs’ vaccines weren’t up to date, and that they couldn’t be boarded right before a major trip. I think you’re getting the idea. They’re the kinds of things that just give you that “ugh” feeling. You don’t want to deal with it. It’s going to make it hard to accomplish the other things you need to do. You could let it ruin your day. It’s basically just going to be a HUGE HASSLE. And, we’re a non-hassle family right? (Reminder–keep repeating to myself non-hassle family).
Interestingly, the more I’ve learned, the more I’ve realized that staying in a solution-oriented mode and not giving air time to the potentially annoying issues, can often eliminate the problem before I even have to deal with it. I now know that things are going to be just as easy or hard as I expect them to be. So, I’ve chosen to put things on the back burner until I’m in a really good vibe, go zen, whatever I need to do to feel happy, and then make the phone call, write the e-mail, deal with the issue. And, I can’t tell you how many times the actual issue solves itself before I have to do anything at all. Whoop! Or, the issue turns out to be almost nothing, a minor adjustment, requiring a few minutes of effort and it’s handled.
So, feeling so confident in my last post after my epiphany as to our expectations having a dramatic effect on the small stuff, the day to day details of our lives, I mentioned that my next post would have to be about how to approach the bigger things, or, at least, what we think are bigger issues in our lives. I hadn’t figured out then what I intended to say about the big stuff. I just confidently put it out there, thinking, of course, I’ll figure it out when I get there.
Well before I “got there,” I’ve been asked by some readers and clients, “When are you doing the post on the big stuff? That’s what I really need help with or need to focus upon.” That’s why I say I nearly learned my lesson about speaking before I think. I have to admit that I felt a very slight bit of hesitation, which I never feel about writing posts, as I had previewed a solution before having it nailed down in any presentable form.
And, then I realized the perfection again in all of this. It was a good move to preview a post on the big stuff, even without having a brilliant plan. Because while I was doing other things, working on other issues, the Universe and my Dream Team and anyone else who wanted to help, was coming up with the answer in a way that I could address it clearly and in the most helpful way. By not giving it any more thought, especially resistant thought, the energy which creates worlds was filling in all of the details for me so that I would feel that moment of, “Of course, that’s the way you deal with the big stuff.” In previewing a post on a technique for creating “big,” I had actually operated in the same way I’ve been approaching the smaller issues. I let it go, gave it no more thought, and came back to it when I felt good, felt ready to write a helpful post. I didn’t imagine it as being harder than any other post or that I shouldn’t have mentioned I’d write it before I knew what I was going to write.
This was my process. Upon reflection, I realized that we create our solutions to the Big Stuff in the same way we create our solutions to the smaller issues in our lives. They are just as easy or as difficult as we expect them to be. There are no rules. Big things don’t have to be dealt with in a certain way, with certain steps, delineated by someone else who knows nothing about Who You Are. I think we have a tendency with the big things, such as creating money, jobs, making a big purchase, that there are specific things which have to occur in a certain order or it just can’t manifest into our lives. Well, says who? Why would we follow some arbitrary set of “shoulds” to get what we want when we have an entire team and the energy which creates worlds at our disposal? When we make our vibration our top priority and don’t give air time to any lackful thoughts about our desires, both big and small things are being created for us as we do our only work, which is maintaining our vibration. Once we’ve made that our top priority, which incidentally is Chapter 1 of “How to Allow,”(as it should be): the inspiration shows up at the right moment; the check comes in the mail when we need it; the person we’ve imagined walks into our life when we go to a place we feel inspired to go to; someone offers to help with a medical bill or our child’s tuition; the perfect message comes to you in an e-mail and gives you exactly the information you were looking for, which leads to something “big.”
I believe that the entire difference in how we usually approach the small stuff vs. the big stuff lies in our expectation that it is going to be hard, or complicated, or that there are certain steps that someone (?) says must be followed. If we can let go of those expectations, which may take a little practice, we are undoubtedly going to realize that there is no difference between the small stuff and the big stuff. Whenever I’ve heard the famous AH quote that, “It’s just as easy to create a castle as a button,” I’ve had some modest doubts. No longer. Money is just energy. Cars are just energy. Relationships are just energy between two people. There is no different approach to creating the big stuff. Now I really get it.
In “How to Allow,” I talk about some big things I created, against the odds, by a simple shift in my view of the situation. I took the heat off of it, despite still wanting it, and maintained my positive expectation that somehow the components needed would come together, as long as I was a cooperative component. And, I maintained faith in myself that I could be a cooperative component by working on my vibration.
So, as all of our desires are created in the same way, and require only our positive expectation, belief and the purest vibration we can conjure as often as possible, the game becomes much easier. Our work isn’t creating the castle, it’s keeping our vibe at the highest level we can, period. Suddenly, nothing should look like it’s going to be difficult to conquer because we only have to work on the inside job, our own mood and expectations. Then, easy, inspired actions will come to us and with them the “BIG STUFF.”
I’m really, really looking forward to hearing about your success with not sweating the big stuff. And, my best suggestion for achieving mastery of deliberately creating it all, is to start with the small stuff and prove to yourself that you can manifest what you want. Then you’ll have that confidence that keeps you from viewing the big stuff as big, unobtainable, out of your league, really hard. It’s all the same. I know that now.
My son, Duncan, just texted me that he rented the apartment in NYC he was shooting for. I wonder if it was much of a hassle?