Before you continue reading, try to hit pause for just a moment. You may not realize it but we are all telling a story to ourselves and to others in our lives, and that story is important. It reflects how we are thinking about ourselves, where we are now, and where we are going. Okay, now what’s the story you’ve been telling about who you are and where you are in your life right now?
There are actually many versions of the story of our lives up until this point. And, some of them feel much better than others. If you are focused mostly upon where you are now and the hurdles you think you are facing, it’s likely that your story would contain lots of elements that explain and justify how you got here. And, continuing to focus upon those elements is not exactly contributing to moving forward with your life.
I’m not suggesting here that you should change the story you are telling to something that doesn’t feel true for you. I’m actually suggesting that there is more than one true version of your story. Although I’ve talked previously about the story we are telling ourselves and others, I’ve had an “aha” moment relating to the story we tell. I went from knowing that our story is affecting our lives to KNOWING that there is definitely more than one true version of our story and it is playing a huge role in creating our reality.
I definitely consider myself an optimist and I’m pretty conscious of not setting the stage for bad things to happen in my experience by expecting them or worrying about them. It’s not that I never worry about those possibilities, but I’ve gotten better at nipping those thoughts in the bud before they gather much power.
So, I was pretty surprised when I had an intuitive flash (that happens a lot!), which allowed me to see that the story I was reciting in my head was not a very accurate account of my life. It was definitely more focused on challenges and how they arose rather than the amazing life I have and have had.
By the way, I did not beat myself up over having that negative version in my head! And, I wouldn’t recommend that. I unearthed valuable information and I believe you may do the same when you consider the story you are thinking about and leading with when you present yourself to others.
The key to creating the lives we want, rather than the lives we don’t want, is asking ourselves what we really desire and focusing upon that. When we are mired in the details of our current reality that could stand improvement, we aren’t allowing the good stuff to come in and change our lives. So, if your story begins with “I’m living paycheck to paycheck right now, or I’m single and wish I weren’t, or I’m divorced, or I’ve been unemployed since the pandemic, or I can’t afford a house now that things are so expensive, or I’m not getting along with my adult children because of my ex, or I’m struggling with ___________,” that lead is creating more and more of what you don’t want.
While any of those things might be true at the moment, they are not “YOUR STORY.” Your life has likely been a series of good moments, some sad moments, challenges, victories, losses, gains, resilience, learning, doing better, taking a misstep, finding joy in connections with others, achievements, moments of kindness from others, moments of being generous and helpful and feeling great about it.
And, you get to choose which of those things you lead with or highlight. You get to choose your perspective about where you are now. It was an amazing epiphany to reconsider my story, to go through my life and remind myself of all of the amazing things that have happened, that I’ve accomplished, and how I’ve dealt with the adversity we all confront at one time or another and moved forward.
Reconsider the story you’ve been telling and I’m sure you will find, like I did, that even some of the things you’ve labeled as difficult have some positive elements. You wouldn’t have done lots of the things you’ve done that have made you proud and brought you joy without some of those challenging moments. You learned, you grew, and those negative experiences should no longer be driving the story of your life.
I would recommend writing your new story down and taking your time. You will likely find yourself noticing that some of the “bad” events or behavior from others that you’ve believed have been slowing you down actually led to many of the “good” things that occurred in your life. That discovery will feel soothing and maybe even awesome and should allow you to focus on where you are now with a brand new lens.
I love this quotation, which speaks to the value of taking responsibility for your story and is also a reminder that all of your circumstances going forward are being created by you:
What anyone else has or does not have has nothing to do with you. The only thing that affects your experience is the way you utilize the Non-Physical Energy with your thought. Your abundance or lack of it in your experience has nothing to do with what anybody else is doing or having. It has only to do with your perspective. It has only to do with your offering of thought. If you want your fortunes to shift, you have to begin telling a different story. A-Hicks
I particularly love this quotation inasmuch as it focuses upon the fact that what anyone else is doing or has in their life has nothing to do with you! I have definitely found that the stories most people are telling have at least one element of blaming others for where they are now. And, those others may deserve some blame. But, to continue to focus on them, what they did, and what they are doing now is only affecting YOU! You are allowing your vibration to be murky by thinking about what someone else did or is doing. And, your vibration is the most important thing you have control over in your life. It literally creates your circumstances. Thinking of the whole business in that way makes a story full of explanations for why you aren’t where you’d like to be in your life now seem ridiculous!
So, I’m going to suggest that you write a new story. I actually really enjoyed the process and the benefits were even more than I expected. It was easy and filled with surprises. The surprises often related to seeing some of the more difficult moments in a different light. There are often so many advantages that arose from having those difficult moments.
It helps to begin with childhood or at least the somewhat distant past so that you can take the journey to where you are now. As you are reminded, like I was, of many great moments in your life and lots of highs, lots of learning, your strength and resilience, it is virtually impossible not to see yourself in a different light and to raise your vibration to a much higher point.
And, you now have a new story that serves you much better. You can return to that new and better version of your life that focuses on some of the wonders that have occurred, the happiness you’ve experienced and your absolute worthiness.
You should expect some amazing changes soon after doing your rewrite!
If you would like some support with making the changes you’d like in your life now, you can reach me on the website (contact) or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org