Sometimes it feels very helpful to be understood. Often, it feels absolutely necessary! When we’re in the midst of a problem, a “whole thing,” or any sort of contrast, it seems that it would be so helpful if the people who care about us “get it” that they get us. And, to borrow from a famously hilarious Seinfeld episode, “There’s nothing wrong with that.” When we are trying to move up the emotional scale from frustrated or angry to happy, feeling understood and supported definitely can be helpful in making that upward move.
Connecting with others while in the midst of contrast is often essential to our well-being. Yet, it can be tricky. Is sharing our issue and feeling understood worth giving our problem more airtime and giving more vibrational energy to the problem? It’s a question worth asking. And I think that there’s a way to share things we want to share in order to feel understood and yet not contribute more energy to the problem we are trying to move on from.
This is what Abraham has to say on the subject:
You cannot notice what-is and complain about it and be a vibrational match to the solution. When you were living the problem, you were asking for the solution, and Source said yes immediately. So, there’s never a reason for you to be wallowing around in a problem for more than about a second? You can get so good at this that before you’re even aware that the problem has gotten started, you’ve already got the solution underway. Abraham-Hicks
This is pure gold, in my humble opinion. And I don’t believe it’s in dispute. Yet there’s also a workaround that can lead to moving up the emotional scale with less angst and with more speed.
We’ve been encouraged by professionals in our world as well as those from a more aerial perspective, to fully feel the emotions we are feeling, especially when confronted by a problem that is seriously interfering with our vibration! It’s not a great idea to pretend that the problem doesn’t exist or to bury it deep inside. Only after acknowledging how we are really feeling and allowing ourselves to feel those feelings can we move into releasing the issue and giving it no more airtime. Once we do that, we can find ourselves in a place where we can see a solution and can begin to give more of our airtime to the solution. And that actually does feel so much better.
The subtle art here is to take a look at it and then move on from there. And, sometimes, what we might refer to as complaining or venting feels like the next logical step. I’m not encouraging complaining as a strategy! I’m acknowledging that it might feel like the path of least resistance in some situations. Just to be clear, I have asked certain clients very lovingly and usually while laughing, if they are confusing me with the Complaint Department. The intention here is generally to lighten the mood while moving out of any wallowing and toward a solution that feels so much better.
A friend and I are so aware of not “going there” and ranting in a highly unproductive way about “the problem” that we sometimes try to deliberately mention our issue while acknowledging that we are “just observing,” We’re not embracing the problem in all its glory or going down the rabbit hole but just observing. That’s usually followed by at least some laughter. Our intention is to give it a quick look with an attitude of moving forward from the problem to the solution. It’s all about the attitude, not necessarily the words we use.
That attitude is what flips the switch. It’s a vibe of, “Yeah, this is going on, and it’s been annoying, but I’m not staying here. I know the solution is on its way, and I’m already moving toward the solution.”
Feeling the feelings evoked by the problem, deliberately focusing forward, and knowing that our solution is already on the way is the subtle art that causes helpful coincidences, unexpected support, and amazing, sometimes miraculous, solutions.
Knowing that moving up the emotional scale and raising our vibration should always feel like relief, this solution-oriented mindset makes so much sense. If we feel the need to share, the need to connect with others, or dare I say, “complain,” there’s an app for that! It might be thought of as complaining with a purpose. We are feeling our feelings, connecting with others, and feeling the relief of being supported, and we don’t intend to stay in the vibrational range of the problem for very long at all. We know that the solution is already on its way and can then show up at any moment.