Nearly everything we’ve discussed in terms of being the deliberate creators of our own experiences, has centered upon the importance of choosing the best thoughts we are capable of choosing under the circumstances. Every foundation of working with the Law of Attraction and the Art of Allowing centers on the way we think about things, our current situation, ourselves, our futures, our health, our action or inaction, our expectations. The first two chapters of “How to Allow” (the e-book and course) ask us to make a commitment not just to try, but to actually choose the best thoughts we can whenever we think of it, and to make peace with where we are right now. Without that basic foundation, our desires may be a long time coming and just take longer to materialize in our lives than they should ever need to.
As I thought about the upcoming year and how it could be the “break out” year for all of us, I kept receiving a message that we needed to focus on the way we think about ourselves as the most important foundation of all. All of our thoughts are important, but it’s our view of and expectations for ourselves and what we can be, do or have, that are the basis of whether we are being Who We Really Are. Are we being only our physical bodies slogging it out in this life adventure we’ve chosen or are we playing with all of our power? Are we constantly judging ourselves or are we blended beings, using the power of Source, the full power of the Universe, in creating what we want in our lives?
The answer to this question makes all of the difference and I know I wouldn’t have been getting this theme whispered to me and popping into my head if my “friends in high places” didn’t think it was an important thing to be focused upon for me and for all of us.
So, I turned to the quintessential authority on our view of ourselves, Louise Hay, and her break out book, which changed everything for so many people, “You Can Heal Your Life.” While I have lots of my own thoughts on appreciating and loving ourselves, I would be remiss in not beginning with Louise’s opening words on just how important our view of ourselves is in our role as deliberate creators.
Louise Hay believes that the bottom line for everyone is “I’m not good enough.” Is that ringing a bell for anyone, everyone? Well, once again we should remind ourselves that it’s only a thought and a thought can be changed. She also suggests that everyone suffers from self-hatred and guilt. That seemed slightly exaggerated to me but, on the other hand, I’m not sure that she isn’t correct about a large percentage of us. She talks about resentment and how toxic it is to our minds and our bodies and how releasing resentment will dissolve even cancer. I absolutely do believe this. I’ve seen it. When we think about resentment, it is usually in terms of someone else who has made our life difficult, yet I think it’s worth looking at that bit of resentment we might be harboring toward ourselves. After all, if we had done some things differently, our life might be better than it is right now. And, we can’t blame anyone but ourselves now that we know that there are no victims. Right? Don’t worry I’m not going to leave us here blaming ourselves for everything that has gone wrong in our lives. This is going to take us to a positive turn which may make a huge difference in how you see yourself and what you are able to Allow into your life.
The one statement which really took my breath away, from “You Can Heal Your Life,” is that “When we really love ourselves, everything in our life works.” And, the more I thought about it, the more it resonated with me. Any other belief we may have is a product of whether we love ourselves or consider ourselves worthy of the good things in life. It is simply the foundation of our creative power.
I do spend a great deal of time in “How to Allow” talking about releasing resentment and the importance of forgiveness of others and ourselves. If we think about the fact that we, or whoever we resent, was doing the best they could from where they had evolved to, there’s no reason to continue punishing them for something they didn’t have the power to do differently. And, running a script through our heads about their behavior or something we’re having trouble forgiving ourselves for, is only preventing us from having the joyful lives that we intended for ourselves. Really think about this, if you take away nothing else from this post. You, or your parents, or your girlfriend or boyfriend or teacher, or spouse, could not have done better, by definition. If you or they had the skills to do better, you or they would have done better. It’s simply all we had in us at the time. This has really worked for me to release anger and move on and I can’t stress enough the effect it can have on your feeling of peace with where you are right now.
Many people believe that we choose many of the aspects of our life when we incarnate on this planet, including our sex, color, country and even our parents. We choose a set of parents who will mirror the things we want to work on in this lifetime. It does make sense to me and also makes it much easier not to blame our parents for things we chose for our own experience and growth. Nonetheless, we are definitely affected by our childhoods and how we were and are treated by our parents, to the extent that it can fundamentally shape our beliefs. And, those beliefs play a major role in what we think we can expect in our lives.
Louise Hay suggests that we look back in our own lives and notice how often we have gone through the same experience. According to Louise, “You created those experiences over and over because they mirrored something you believed about yourself.” Yikes, did that ever resonate with me. I mean the same patterns over and over. What was I thinking? One of my genius sons reminded me that it is the very definition of insanity to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results. That came from none other than Einstein and Einstein usually knew what he was talking about.
So, what’s become so apparent to me as I keep getting these promptings, marching orders, spiritual guidance, or whatever you might call it, the thoughts we have about ourselves are so critical to our efforts at deliberate creation and how our life circumstances evolve, that it’s worth taking some time to work on giving ourselves a break, appreciating ourselves, yeah, even reminding ourselves that we actually love ourselves. That shouldn’t be hard to say or think.
It’s not that hard to reflect on most of your life experiences and think “hey, I was doing the best I could.” That girl or guy that I was at the time was trying their best given what they knew. And I have always tried my best. And, I’ve been a great mom or dad, wife, daughter, sister, friend, writer, counselor, whatever you may be or have been. It’s not that hard to cut ourselves some slack. Here we are readers, some of the relatively small number of people on the planet that actually know that we create our own reality. And, we try to be loving, uplifting people and put our best efforts in whenever we can. We’re trying to bring light into the world. We should love ourselves! We should appreciate ourselves.
It’s not the easiest thing in the world to jump into this life experience as a pure positive being and deal with the contrast that gets dished out, often unexpectedly and despite our best efforts. I have a strong feeling, though, that an underlying unshakable feeling of “I appreciate myself, I am worthy of good things, happiness, being treated well by others, having the things that I want in my life,” will do more than any visualizations or affirmations we can conjure in the moment to create the life we really want.
I mean, imagine if you’re trying to conjure thoughts of success in work, or happiness in your relationship or financial abundance, but your underlying belief is, “I really blew it when I . . . ., or I’m not the smartest person in the world . . . or I don’t deserve that raise, or that job, as much as those other people who are so talented . . . .” I think I could come up with about one hundred or more self-loathing thoughts that get paraded out occasionally when we don’t even realize we’re thinking them. Imagine how confusing it is to the Universe vibrationally when you’re hoping for a promotion but you believe you’re not worthy of it? Or, when you’re looking for a loving relationship and your childhood has led you to believe you’re not loveable? It’s impossible to send out a pure vibration of desire for something you absolutely deserve when you really believe you don’t deserve it.
I’m not suggesting that we drop those visualizations or deliberate efforts to find things to appreciate whenever we can. That is our work. But, we must always return to an ironclad, unshakable belief that we are good, and worthy and deserving of love and appreciation and the good things in life. Source knows that we are all of those things. Who are we to disagree?
I’m going to be working on ways to reinforce those feelings of worthiness and hope you will too. I hope to have some amazing ways of getting to that place of self-appreciation by the next time I check in. And, I think the amazing quotation from “You Can Heal Your Life,” bears repeating:
“When we really love ourselves, everything in our life works.”